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[05 Sep 2008|12:35pm] |
Oh bloody feckin hell I ain't not liking this right now. FUcking Mam is making me and everyone else stay around fer the next fucking two months so she can fuckin have her family and the like there during the duff thingy. Pregnancy or whatever the fuck it's call. Bun in the fucking oven and all the gobshite like that. I dunna even know why she bothered ta keep it but she's all about fucking names and fucking shit like that fucking thing. She currently wants ta name the fuckin thing Rosemary because it sounds pretty, or Diamond and if the little fuckin thing is a diamond I be selling her fer some fuckin money, dunna not need no fuckin siblin, Gallimaufry was supposed ta be the last fuckin one but no, i got another fuckin subling coming along.
Fucking gobshitters.
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[07 Aug 2008|07:54pm] |
Er fucking hell, Mam's due in fucking like two fucking months right and I'm supposed ta get back in a month ta fucking help around the caravan a bit like yeah? So right that means I have ta get the fucking bloody fucking hell thing out of the bloody fucking way before I bloody well fuckin go over fer the next bloody fucking child. And I'm supposed ta pick out a fuckin name right - because fucking hell she's gone through his list alright of the names she fuckin wants and I canna think of anything really that she'd fucking like and it ain't no Micky or fucking Rod or some fucking dickwad name like that.
Fuckin hell, does anyone have any fuckin idea?
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[04 Jul 2008|12:27pm] |
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Oi, some old lady yelled at me the other day right. I dunna think I swear a lot. I mean I ain't swearin' as much as I coulda be swearin right. And I'd just stubbed me toe right. Fuck I need some new boots, the toes of these uns are wearin thin and the like so I dunna not know what I should do about it. But right, I stubbed me toe against a wall and it blood fucking hurt right so I begin ta yell and all that shite. Then some old lady farkin up and started yellin at me fer being a swearing no good bum. I ain't not no bum! Well I have a bum but I ain't one. I dunno know what was up her duff, but it was prolly something prickly the way she be actin and the like. The fuckin tosser. But, point o all of this, is do I swear a lot? Or are ye lot just faint of heart?
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[29 Jun 2008|12:23pm] |
Private to Dung
I dunna not get me mother sometimes. She keeps on getting up the duff right, and so I be exptin her to stop cuz the broad is getting older like right. And then when I ask her when the babes due she keeps on asking me when're ye gonna settle down Dung. When be ye be bringin back a girl ta meet us finally. Ye be gettin ta be old Dung, ye need some sporgs in ye life, settle ye down a bit.
Bloody hell Mam, ye got enough kids fer the both of us. I like the siblins and all but I dunna not want one of my own, ain't gonna be good with what I do right. I mean I wouldn't minda a kiddo or two, but I be young. And I ain't old like she says. I be 22 farking years old right. And I told her that and she rolled her eyes and goes ta me. Dung, I be havin ye when I be 19 and ye turned out ta be fine and so did I. So ye need ta have a kiddo right.
Bloody hell, I dunna want no fuckin kid. Not right now, and ain't got no broad that I wanna be with ta have the farkin kid. I just wanna steal. That be it, anything else it mute at this point.I mean I be workin fer the Order and I dunna not have a house. I dunna need no house but the kiddo would and that's just a pain in the farkin ass, I'd have ta shower as well cuz the feckin things be shitting all over the place and the like. And then they be gettin sick like and it's just farkin annoying.
Bloody hell, I love me mam, but she be annoyin'.
/private
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[24 Jun 2008|11:56am] |
Fuckin hell, ye think that fer the 'mount of money that i feckin pay fer these stupid bints that the quality o the entire thing would be a lil higher aye. I mean these girls are paid ta do this and I aint not gettin no satsitfcation over at the place. She was pretty and had knockers the size of bloomin melons but that was it. I thought she was new right cuz I aint not never seen her before but then I find out she's been doing this for like five fucking years and I'm like I dunna know how the fuck she survived and the like. SHe's fucking shit.
Bloody fucking cunting wanking little twats.
And then when I asked for me money back that said she was the best in there. And I'm like fucking hell really cuz I didn't have fun and it was boring and the like and they said oh well too bad and then they have the nerve to chuck me out!
Fuck me if I ever going in there again.
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[11 Jun 2008|10:12pm] |
Oi, just so you son's of bitches know I like sleepin where I sleep and I like being able ta move about when I need ta and I like it and the noise and the smells and so ye ain't not got no right ta force me off off the streets if I dunna wanna go got it cuz it's mah home for the love of two bags of crisps and a fucking dog and then also, this whole bit about how I should finda fuckin job and do something podutive like ot whatever the fuck I'm supposed ta do cuz i tried having a fucking job before ye fucking fuckwits, but I aint not no workin' man cuz I ain't not need a honest livin i got a good one as it is ye fuckers i like ta laze about and also I dunna smell, the rest of ye lot only got fancy smancy noses and I dunna not need no bath, or manners nor anyhting else of the fucking like cuz water is fuckin weird anyway and I dunna not need non o'that running down mah skin and fuck being naked in the shower, why the fuck do we need ta be naked unless its fer sex I dunna not see no problem with wearin mah layers as long as I wanna wear my fuckin layers here me.
OH! And fer all ye fucks out there I aint sad or some shit cuz I am happy ye fuckers and I'm willing ta bet mah pipe a lot more fucking happy than the lot of ye combined I'd beg ta differ cuz I got mah hands, mah pipe and a fucking bottle of whiskey and that's all I need ye fucking halfwitted fuckers.
So fuck ye lot and stop makin me live under the roofves and the shit, it gives me the willies not ta be able to see the stars and the like. So ye lot need ta just go fuck a cow or somethin ta get over yerselves.
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| Order |
[07 Jun 2008|11:04pm] |
I say we take their wands and shove em up their fucking motherfuckin arses and let them rot in fucking hell the fucking little motherfucking fucking cunting fuckers!
FUCK
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[05 Jun 2008|05:22pm] |
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Oi, what if we ain't not got no home?
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[02 Jun 2008|10:58pm] |
FUCK!
The fuckity fucking little fucking son of a motherfucking cunting twat got the fuck away the little fucking shite head. Oh boy, he better whatch his fuckin head otherwise he's going to have my fucking foot six feet up are arse and coming out the other side of the fucking body the fucking little fucking gobshite. Hope he rots in fucking goddamn fucking seventh layer of fucking hell the fucking little wanker.
FUCK!
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[29 May 2008|12:00pm] |
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Feckin' bloody hell! Why the fuckin' hell is it raining! I got WET! This is not spot on or anything! Fuckin' bloody fucking rain and it's motherfucking son of a cunting twat headed wanking gobeshite water!
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[28 May 2008|11:09am] |
Bloody bloody buggering bumfucking gobshite twat headed wanker of a fucking shit cuntheaded little twat son of a bitch going to cut his fuckin' innard open fer what he did ta Mam. He ain't not gonna get away with this the little fuckin' gobshite. No one messes with the Fletchers and gets away with it. He ain't gonna be able to look of his shoulder without him missing something else, only wish th fucker could lose a hand while he was at it.
Gotta call Duke, Earl, Mullet, Errol, and Mickey, see what they canna find out.
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| ten: Private to Order & Supporters |
[19 May 2008|06:22pm] |
Yer all a bunch of bloomin' idiots ye know that right? And this is me sayin' it so yannow, ye are!
Bloody fucking cunt sucking fuckers.
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| nine |
[19 May 2008|04:15pm] |
Warded Private to Dung
Ello? This thing workin' and all of that? I dunna want to let anyone know what I'm sayin' yeah so I hope this fecking bloomin' thing works otherwsie ya'll are gonna get a lot of words that I dunna want ye ta read ya hear? Bloody hell, so I was down on 5th the other day and I was talkin' ta Monty about the new stash that was comin' in fer the muggles and the like and we got ta talkin' and he say sayin' somethin' about them bloomin' noises over on eighth ya hear, and so Id ecided ta go check cuz if it's someone messin' around there, I oughta know 'bout it cuz this is my here land and no one else ain't allowed ta deal around here.
So I got there right, and then there are these fuckin' Roma's who are campin' out right? And I ain't not got none problem against any of em cuz they be my cousin's almost, one of em knows Ma, and he kinda looks like Eggbert in the nose and the like so I dunno. He might be the da of that one, or maybe not cuz his brodda looks a bit like Herman and anyway.
So I got ta talkin' to them and then I find out Mam is up the duff again, and not from the Ole Crook so I gonna have another half sister, and then I find out it's from some bloomin bloody muggle ye here, some rich folk who were on their way to the carnivale and the like and then there was some feckin' rumor about bloody gobshite love and other such shite and I ain't not gonna stand fer this. Mam ain't never gonna be tied down, she's a Roma, like her Ma and her Ma's Ma and the whole lot of them and bloody hell, the feckin muggle ain't even knowin' about the magic and the like.
Bloody fuckin' hell. And I'm supposed ta come home to help take care of the chits while Mam is off talkin' to this bloody Muggle about how she ain't not gonna leave the carninvale, at least she better be sayin' that the bloomin idjit. Grandmam ain't not gonna stand fer her leavin' the kids, cuz we'd not be allowed ta go and there ain't no way in the seven fucking layers of hell am I gonna be takin' care of them. I like em and all, but not a fuckin' chance ye hear me if ye can bloomin' well read this feckin' thing.
Fuckin' right that fucker ain't not gonna get away with this. Fuckin' hell, I'm gonna talk ta the mates, see what they can find out, ain't not gonna destroy the Fletchers today or ever. Maybe the Ole Crook knows something, or Monty knows somethin more.
Bloody fuckers better.
/Private
Bloody fucking bloody buggering bumfucking cunt headed little wanker faced two timing arsehole gobshite of a twat son of a bitch, feckin' bloody bastard and the fuckin' sister of his mother's cunt.
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| eight |
[13 May 2008|09:24am] |
Oi! Bloody hell my head hurts. But it ain't my fault see! I was down a the pub and this bird kept on buying me drinks and I ain't gonna say no to that. Only turns out she's the sister of this bird I slept with a few weeks back and then she's tryin' ta tell me the girl is pregnant! I ain't not gonna be no Pa I tell her right. And then she starts ta yell at me which makes me drink some more because I'm trying ta get away and then she throws water on me! Water! I hate water, it's wet and gross and how ye lot can take showers day in and day out I'll never know.
But never mind that see, supposedly there's this big problem cuz I used protection and shit but then the bird says there's got to be some test or something. And now I'm worried cuz I ain't not gonna have no kid, I dun wanna pay for it.
It's bloody bad enough when I gotta take care of Gallimaufry and Gertrude, not ta mentions when Spencer, Ozzie, Eggie, Herman, Duke, Earl, Queenie, Mullet, Errol, Mickey, Boris and Lil’ Peter are all over cuz I be the eldest here and they make me take care of them. And they say shovin' them in a pig pen aint responsible like, which I dun get because it's all locked up see so they canna run away so I don't see a problem.
I dunno, ye all are weird.
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| seven |
[04 May 2008|09:49pm] |
Once when i was a celebratin i went ta bed
i had too much ta drink and woke up ta an ugly head
she turned over and i saw her face and i sprayed her with mace!
i jumped round and run away and put on all me clothes
and then i ran from th house and i hit her i do
but she chased right afterta me and she hopped onto her broom!
although she was so ugly, i took her anyway
used her ta scare the coppers away
i rememb' the day i took her to the dog park and said what the hey
aye dee dei dee id die whatever the fuck's next christ i need another drink
i tried ta forget it, tried ta drink some ugly away
she needed a papper baby and then the day would come
that i'd meeet her so i beat'er
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| six Private to the Order |
[01 May 2008|10:56am] |
Bloomin' feckin' wankers. Told ya so! Dinna a I? But nooo I almost got the door shoved in me face, thanks a fucking lot you twats. I got a bruise on ma ribs the size of a feckin' cat and all I get was a door!
Fuckin' hell. Any of ye dead?
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| five |
[22 Apr 2008|09:44pm] |
Right ole piece of work this ministry be doing lately ain't it. Arrestin' people and the like. I say right on.
[Order]
Find anything good in th' house? I need a bit o'money. I'm in a bit of a tight spot right now, lost a couple rounds and I'm 10 in the hole.
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| four |
[19 Apr 2008|11:11pm] |
Merlin, you think a bloke would thank me for calling him a arrogant sonova bitch. I coulda called him something worse but I refrained.
What's the spell thing a ma bob for a black eye, broken nose and the thing where my eye turns red when it's supposed to be white.
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| two |
[12 Apr 2008|11:21am] |
Bloomin' fucking hell. I suppose I gotta send ma bloody thanks to the bloomin ministry. Fucking Dragged me in and I got ta miss all the fucking excitement. Although a few friends said they saw some wankers in cloaks laughing with the fucking bunnies, of course that mightve been the fuckin fairy dust they were on, not like they got much else to deal with it aside from that. Tweaked out and all that, said they saw some green giant smashin everything around them.
Gotta love the mates, good for a right old fucking laugh there ain't they?
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